So it’s press day today for the charity I volunteer for and we were on strict instructions to look smart and presentable.
I haven’t been sleeping well so took a sleep aid last night and woke up groggy to the foster puppy having poopageddon all over the floor.
I try and tread carefully around it only to slip over a puddle of pee and land in shit up to my eyeballs (literally my eyeball nearly had poop in it).
I desperately need the toilet (like the old woman that I am) so I try and lift your poop and pee covered body to open the dog gate to get out of the room. But the dog gate won’t open as my hands are covered in diarrhea and puppy pee, so I decided to try and climb over the gate.
As I tried to get the second leg over the gate, the puppy decides to start licking my toes and I fall into another heap on the floor with one shit covered foot resting nonchalantly on top of the gate.
This is about where I weigh up as to if it is better to just pee myself, get up and squat on a pee pad or continue the noble fight to the bathroom.
Guess what I did?